Kudalira maganizo: zimayambitsa. Pulogalamu ya Thandizo la Psychological

Sinditha kukhala popanda izo, chifukwa ndimakonda! Ndithudi inu mwamvapo mawu awa nthawi zambiri mu mafilimu, ndipo mwinamwake inu munanena nokha. Ndipotu, izi ndizo momwe anthu ambiri amamvetsetsa zapamwamba komanso nthawi yomweyo ndi zolakwika kwambiri.

Uwu si chikondi, ndipo kudalira ndikumangika mumtima. Amalowetsa yekha kudzimva yekha ndi kuwasunga bwino, koma amakhala ndi kusiyana kwakukulu. Chikondi ndikumveka bwino, kumangoganiza , izi ndi ufulu. Amagwirizana nthawi zonse, chifukwa amakula mu ubale, samapweteka.

Chikondi chosagwirizane ndi tanthauzo lolakwika. Zomwe zili m'dziko lathu sizichitika. Ngati ubalewo umayambitsa kuvutika, ndiye kudalira uku - maganizo, zinthu kapena zina - sizikusintha kwenikweni.

Kudalira kumalowa m'malo mwa chikondi

Kawirikawiri izi zimawonetsedwa mu ubale pakati pa mwamuna ndi mkazi. Tonsefe tikuyang'ana chikondi, ndikofunikira kwambiri kuti tipeze mgwirizano ndi wokondedwa. Koma izi zimachitika ndi munthu wathanzi. Ngati munthu ali ndi bala losagwedezeka la maganizo, phokoso m'maganizo ake, adzafunitsitsa mwachikondi chikondi, koma sangathe kuchipeza. Zonse zomwe ziri mu mphamvu yake, ndi kupeza chinthu chomwe chidzachidyetsa icho ndi mphamvu zofunikira zofunika.

Chikhalidwe ndi chiyani: ludzu la chikondi ichi kapena mphamvu (kuitcha izo zirizonse zomwe mukufuna) sizidzatha. Monga ngati dzenje mumoyo wa munthu ndilokhalitsa, momwe kumverera kumayendera, ndipo mwadyera amachotsa gwero lake, kufunafuna mochulukirapo. Izi zimatchedwa "kusokonezeka maganizo." Ubale wanu uli odwala ndi owonongeka mpaka inu simungakhoze kudzichiza nokha.

Kuwonetsera kudalira mu ubale

Ngati mukufuna, mudzapeza zitsanzo zambirimbiri zozungulira inu. Nthawi zambiri maganizo okhudza "munthu wokondedwa" - ichi ndi chodalira kwambiri. Maganizo kumalo oyamba, chifukwa malingaliro ameneŵa tsopano amadziwitsa moyo wa wodalira, ubale wake ndi anthu ena , mphamvu zogwirira ntchito, maganizo ndi thupi.

Moyo wonse wa odalirika uli mu mgwirizano umenewu. Zikuwoneka kuti "chikondi" choterocho chiyenera kukhala chosangalatsa. Zimatero choncho, koma ndiye kugwirizana kwa ogula. Wina angapereke chitsanzo: Achinyamata amasankha kukhala pamodzi, pamene mtsikanayo amadzipereka yekha kwa wosankhidwa ake, akunyalanyaza maloto ake ndi malingaliro ake, kugwira ntchito ndi kupezera banja, pamene akupeza maphunziro apamwamba ndikumanga ntchito, ndiyeno ... amachoka.

Ndi zifukwa ziti

Nchifukwa chiyani izi zikuchitika? Chifukwa munthu sayenera kuthamanga ngati chiwombankhanga mu chibwenzi, koma pitani pakati pa chithandizo cha maganizo. Mmalo mwake, iye, pokhala kuti ali wosasangalala yekha, akugwirizanitsa chiyembekezo chake cha chimwemwe ndi ubale umenewu.

Koma bwanji, chifukwa chakuti kuvutika maganizo ndi kudzidandaula, zovuta zonse zimatayika pansi pa diso limodzi la wokondedwa! Nthawi yoyamba, zikuwoneka kuti izi ndi zomwe zikuchitika. Koma ichi ndi chinyengo chabe, chimene, mwatsoka, sichikhala motalika. Pang'onopang'ono muyambe kutsutsana ndi kusamvetsetsana, osakhutira ndi mnzanuyo komanso nokha.

Munthu, popanda kudzizindikira yekha, akuvutika kwambiri, ndipo izi mosakayikira zimayambitsa kugonana, kupatukana komanso kupweteka kwambiri. Ndipo patsogolo, mwinamwake, ubale watsopano, momwe munthu angathamangire ndi changu chachikulu kwambiri, akukhulupirira kuti potsiriza anapeza ichi chomwe. Sizovuta kuganiza kuti zotsatira zake ndizosayembekezereka.

Nchifukwa chiyani izi zikuchitika?

Kodi chofunikira cha izi ndi chiyani? Mchitidwe wodalirika ndiwo choyamba ndikuyesera kubwezera kudzichepetsa. Tanthauzo la chiyanjano ndi chakuti munthu wodalirika amayesa kudzaza chisokonezo mwa iyeyekha ndi mnzake. Ndipo kupanda pake kuli koopsa kwambiri. Zimadziwonetsera ngati chimfine chosatha, ngati chisokonezo chopweteka, kudzazidwa komwe kuli nkhani ya moyo ndi imfa.

Malo abwino othandizira maganizo ndi zomwe munthu amafunikira pazochitika zoterozo, koma m'malo mwake akupitirizabe kuyesa kufunafuna munthu wokondana naye ndikukhala wosangalala.

Mizu ya kudalira maganizo

Pamwamba ndi zifukwa zomanga maubwenzi "odwala", koma chodabwitsa ichi chimayambira. Kuti mumvetse zomwe zimayambitsa, muyenera kubwerera ku ubwana wanu. Pamene mwana wabadwa, ali pachibwenzi ndi mayi. Ndibwino kuti iwo asamveke osiyana wina ndi mnzake. Izi zimatsimikizira kuti mwanayo amasamalidwa, amakhulupirira komanso amatetezedwa. Ngati munthu mwachizolowezi akudutsa pamsinkhu uwu - amapeza chikondi chokwanira - adzakhala wotseguka ku ubale ndi chikhalidwe. Ngati mayiyo anali wosasunthika, amamupatsa mwanayo chikondi, amakula ndi ludzu losatha, lomwe lidzawonetsedwa mu ubale wodalirika.

Gawo lachiwiri lofunika ndilo pa miyezi 18-36. Tsopano ntchito yaikulu ya mwanayo ndi kupatukana, kukhala ngati munthu. Iye amayesera kuchita zonse zomwe iye yekha ndikumva "inde" nthawi zambiri kuposa "ayi". Mayi ayenera kuonetsetsa chitetezo, koma musasokoneze kufufuza kwa dziko lapansi. Mwanayo ayenera kumverera kuti ndi wamtengo wapatali ndipo zipatso za ntchito yake ndi zofunika kwambiri.

Pakalipano, mwayi wokhala wokhutira ndi kubadwa ndi anthu ena mumtima wapamtima, amabadwa. Ngati chitukuko sichinayende bwino, ngati ntchito ya mwanayo idawonongedwa, adakalipira, atetezedwe kwambiri, ndiye kuti adzalumikizana ndi maubwenzi ogwirizana, dziko lonse lidzakhala poizoni ndi mantha ndi kudalirika.

Kukula sikungatheke pomwepo, ndiko kuti, kuvulala kungachiritsidwe, koma okalamba timakhala, mwayi wochepa. Ngati munthu akusowa chikondi, kuvomereza ndi chisamaliro sanakhutitsidwe ali mwana, adzalumikizana ndi anthu ena. Maziko a ubale wodalirika ndi mantha a moyo, kusatetezeka, kudziona kuti ndi otsika, kuwonjezeka kwa nkhawa.

Ubale Womwe Wavomerezeka Umakhala Womwe Wakhazikitsidwa

Ubale wotchulidwawo ndi nkhani yosiyana, yomwe ikhoza kukhala chinthu chokhazikitsidwa. Mchitidwe wodalirika umawonetseredwa kuti munthu ali wokonzeka kulolerana chirichonse, kuti asakanidwe ndi kusakhala yekha.

Monga tanena kale, chikondi mu ubale wodalirika ndi njira yothetsera vuto la munthu. Wokondedwa ndi chinthu chokonzekera kuti chikhale chokwanira. Monga momwe mukuonera, maubwenzi oterowa adzalephera. Mkhalidwe wa maubwenzi onsewo udzakhala woipitsitsa, ngakhale kuti ubwino wachiwiri ukhoza kukhalabe ndi ubale wokwanira.

Kukula kwa ubale wotero

Ndipotu, maubwenzi ndi ochepa kwambiri, mwa iwo gawo la maganizo la munthu mmodzi limasungunuka mu gawo la maganizo la wina. Iye amatha "kudzikonda", ulamuliro, amasiya kukhala moyo wake, kutaya kwathunthu mu moyo wa wokondedwa.

Komabe, mkhalidwe wa maganizo m'mkhalidwe wotere ukhoza kuwonjezereka. Ntchito yodzidzaza ndi munthu wina sizingatheke, chifukwa umphumphu wamkati umapezeka kokha chifukwa cha chitukuko cha zinthu zamkati. Kudzidalira ndi malo a munthu wina m'malo a Mulungu. Komabe, kulengedwa kwa fano ndikutumikira kwa kudzikhululukira sikungachotserekwanira. Kudalira ndiko kudzikana nokha.

Zosiyana ndi zochitika

Zochitika, zomwe zimayambitsa ubale, zambiri. Tonsefe ndife osiyana kwambiri, ndipo aliyense akuyesera kupeza phindu lake. Pamene munthu akumva kwambiri, amakhala ndi chilakolako chofuna kukondana kwambiri. Anthu ambiri otetezeka, m'malo mwake, amawawunika mphamvu, amazengereza, koma chifukwa chake sangathe kutenga zomwe akufunikira kuchokera kwa iwo.

Tiyeni tiyang'ane pa zochitika zazikuluzikulu za zochitika za ubale wodalirika, palibe iliyonse yomwe ili nayo malo oti ubale weniweni, udindo ndi chikondi. Zizindikiro za anthu zimadziŵa kuti ndi njira iti yomwe idzasankhidwe ndi iwo:

1. Kusinkhasinkha kwa mnzanuyo. Phindu la munthu wosokonezeka pano ndi lodziwika bwino: amasankha yekha mnzawo yemwe nthawi zonse amamuwonetsa kuti ndi wodabwitsa. Ndikovuta kunena yemwe amasiyidwa zambiri mu maubwenzi awa. Munthu wodalirayo amafunabe nthawi zonse kuti wosankhidwayo adziwe chikondi chake, kukhutiritsa zilakolako, ndipo tsiku lililonse akwaniritse malingaliro ake. Izi zimawonongeka nthawi zonse kutsimikizira kuti iye ndi wabwino kuposa ena ndipo ali oyenera chikondi. Wokondedwa atangotumikira ngati galasi, ubalewo umagwera.
2. Kukana ulamuliro wawo. Ndikutayika kwa dziko la munthu kukhala la wina. Kumverera kwa chikondi mu nkhani iyi ndi kwakukulu kwambiri moti munthu amakhala mmalo mwa wosankhidwa wake. Amapatsidwa udindo wonse wa moyo, komanso pa nthawi yomweyi pofuna zolinga, zolinga ndi zofuna. Izi zikutanthauza kuti, amene amadalira udindo wa mwana. Ndipo pamene mwanayo akumva kwambiri, zimakhala zovuta kwambiri kumanga ubale woterowo.
3. Pakhoza kukhala zosiyana, pamene munthu wodalirika akufuna kuyesa wokondedwa wake mwiniwake, kumuchotsera iye ulamuliro wake, kudzigonjetsa yekha. Munthu wokhudzidwa mtima kwambiri pa nkhaniyi amavomereza udindo wa kholo. Amamutsogolera, kudalira pa lingalirolo: "Iye sangathe kupirira, ndikudziwa bwino momwe zingakhalire bwino kwa iye."
4. Kukhala ndi chuma chokwanira ndi chiwonongeko cha gawo lalingaliro la chikondi. Izi zikutanthauza kuti mnzanu amene ali ndi vutoli amadziwika ngati chinthu, ndipo chidzaloledwa kukhala ndi mphamvu. Ndipo udindo wa moyo wa wokondedwawo umalengezedwa, koma osagwiritsidwa ntchito, iwo amangogwiritsidwa ntchito. Pazomwezi mukhoza kuwona luso lanu lolamulira.

Zizindikiro zazikulu za kudalira mtima

Pokhapokha pakuwona chikondi cholimba (kuwerenga-kulephera) ndichimodzimodzi ndi chikondi. Ndipotu ichi ndi chiwonongeko chomwe chiyenera kuwona. Kodi mungathe bwanji kuona kudalira kwa masks ambiri? Choyamba, pa nkhaniyi, abwenzi nthawi zambiri amatsutsana, kupeza mgwirizano, kukangana. Pa nthawi yomweyi, wokondedwayo amayesetsa kusunga ubale wawo pazifukwa zonse. Ngakhale atinyozedwa, manyazi, kumenya, nsanje ndi kupandukira, adzapeza yekha zifukwa zambiri zoti akhale pamodzi.

Ndizodabwitsa kuti woledzera nthawi zonse amafuna kupulumutsa mnzako, kuti awusinthe bwino. Izi zimawonekera momveka bwino pa nkhani ya woledzera wachilendo ndi mkazi wake. Pa nthawi yomweyi, wodalirika amakana kulandira zenizeni, akupitirizabe kukhala ndi malingaliro kuti zonse zidzasintha. Kwa iye, dziko lonse lapansi liphwanyidwa mpaka chinthu chimodzi, amasiya kulankhula ndi abwenzi, amasiya kuchita zomwe amakonda.

Kusintha kwa mkati kwa munthu wodalira kumadalira kuchuluka kwa umunthu umenewu. Koma nthawi zambiri maganizo ake amasintha kuvutika maganizo. Iye akutsimikiziridwa mochuluka kuti iye samadzikonda, kudziona kuti akugwa pamaso pake. Wodalirika amayamba kubisala ku mavuto omwe ali pafupi nawo mu ubale ndi mnzanuyo.

Ndipo amatha kupeza yekha imodzi kapena mitundu yambiri ya kudalira. Osati kwenikweni kudzakhala mowa kapena mankhwala osokoneza bongo - wina adzakhala shopaholic, wina adzakhala pansi pa maswiti. Potsirizira pake, kutsiriza mndandanda wa zizindikiro ndi kuphwanya thanzi labwino. Uku ndi kuphwanya kugona ndi kudziletsa, matenda a khungu ndi matenda a psychosomatic.

Mmene mungachotsere kugonjera kwa maganizo

Kuti mutuluke mumkhalidwe wofotokozedwa mungathe kuthandiza katswiri wa zamaganizo. Ngati mumakhala mumzinda wa Moscow, mungathe kulankhulana ndi Gestalt pakati pomwe akatswiri apamwamba akukudikirirani.

Ndipotu, mankhwala alionse amadzipangitsa nokha, kubwerera ku mizu, kuyambira ali mwana, kudzichiritsa ndi mphamvu ya chikondi, zomwe sizinali zokwanira pamenepo. Izi zidzaperekedwa kwa inu ndi katswiri wamaganizo.

Gawo lotsatira ndilofunika kwambiri - kuzindikira kuti kukhalapo kumadalira. Chimodzi mwa zizindikiro za izi ndi kunyalanyaza kwathunthu. Mpaka mutayima ndikumuyang'anitsitsa, mudzakhala moyo wanu wonse kuti muthawe naye, mukudziyerekezera kuti simukumuwona. Pambuyo pa izi tikhoza kupita ku siteji yatsopano, kudziphunzira tokha, kuti tikulumikizana ndi ife eni, kuti tizindikire zokhumba zathu, zowopsya ndi zoiwalika, malingaliro athu, zosowa ndi malire. Tsopano zimakhala zotheka kugwira ntchito ndi kudzidalira nokha kudzilandira nokha.

Chidziwitso cha mtima wolimba mwa anthu odalira nthawi zambiri chimatsekedwa. Kawirikawiri timakhala odalira pamene sitingathe kulandira nkhawa ndi mantha, manyazi ndi kudzimvera chisoni.

Kugonjetsa malingaliro ndi kusowa ufulu, ndipo mukudziwa kale kumene njirayi ikutsogolera. Choncho, malangizo ofunikira kwambiri pakugwira ntchito ndi katswiri wa zamaganizo ndi kupezeka kwapang'onopang'ono kwa malingaliro onse payekha. Muyenera kudzilola nokha kukhala nawo, kuwamverera, kusintha nawo. Izi zimatsegula njira ina - kuvomereza udindo ku miyoyo yawo. Ndipo izi ndi panthaŵi imodzimodzi kukana udindo ku miyoyo ya ena, chifukwa cha zochitika zawo ndi zisankho. Iyi ndi njira yokhayo yokha malire abwino muukwati. Izi zimathetsa mavuto ambiri, mikangano, zodandaula ndi mavuto.

Mkhalidwe wapatali wa machiritso

Pamene njira zonse zapitazo zadutsa, mwayi wokasunthira kumtunda watsopano udzatsegulidwa. Katswiri wa zamaganizo adzakuthandizani kuti mukhalenso ndi mphamvu yowonongeka ndi chikondi, chosowa choyanjana. Kutulutsa mwana wamkati ndilo lalitali ndi lovuta. Kawirikawiri, kuti mutsirize njirayi, muyenera kupeza zotsatira za vuto la maganizo. Kugwira ntchito ndi zowawa ndizofunika kulira ndi kunena zabwino kwachisangalalo chosatha cha mwana, ndi maloto omwe sanakwaniritsidwebe. Chifukwa cha kulira uku, ife timakula.

Pomalizira, ntchito yotsiriza imakhalabe - kuphunzira kulankhulana kokondweretsa popanda kusokoneza. Tiyenera kuphunzira kudzivomereza tokha ndi ena, kulimbana ndi zenizeni komanso kusiyana kwake ndi zomwe tikuyembekeza, kuvomereza zokhazokha, kuvomereza ndi kugawira ena udindo. Ndipo panthawi yomweyi, pitirizani kuyankhulana ndi mwana wanu wamkati. Thandizo la maganizo lingakhale lofunika kwambiri pakupeza maluso atsopano.